Sox/Yanks Rivalry Returns, Fans Forgot It Was a Rivalry
How did baseball survive over two months without a Boston/New York match-up? It’s barely a rivalry these days as the Yankees took an 8 1/2 game lead over the Red Sox with the big win last night. It was...
View ArticleDavid Caruso Identifies Two Bodies In Stanton’s Knee
The night was… humid. In the hospital hallway, Guillen was calling doctors, nurses and a janitor putas. I was by his bedside early in the day. We talked for a long time before he went under the...
View ArticleFister of Fury
It’s not the Year of the Tiger, but don’t tell Doug Fister that. And don’t ask Mr. Fister to sing Kyrie, because that song kills kittens. Fact! He just followed up a strong start @BAL with a...
View ArticlePadres Prospect, Nicky Tesla Curses, Saying It Should’ve Been Him
There once was a boy who went by the name of Grey. Grey didn’t always pay his bar tab. Grey didn’t always change his underwear. He didn’t like the theater. He never ate fortune cookies, though he...
View ArticlePlease Toronto, May I Have Some Morrow
I’ve gone from love to hate to love to “Are we up to love or hate now?” to the DL for Brandon Morrow. I’ll be honest, some of my love came from getting excited about drafting him and some of my hate...
View ArticleNatGio Shows The World One Pretty Pitcher
You could argue Mike Minor threw a slightly better game yesterday and deserved the lede, but you’d be arguing with a computer screen and over what should be the lede on a fantasy baseball blog. It’s...
View ArticleYou Need A Crisp Arm To Beat Chris Parm
He likes school to start so he can skip class. He doesn’t befriend the incoming freshmen, but he does tell his friends, “Yo, man, let up on him,” then helps the freshman nerd down from the back of the...
View ArticleOrioles Promote Bundy To Stick His Hand Down His Pants
After the Orioles played 18 innings on Tuesday, delirium set it in and they said, “We’ve had two bean and cheese burritos since 6 o’clock and we have to pull a double shift ice trucking. Somebody...
View ArticleBattles To Watch: AL East
Spaceman here, and I’ll be keeping tabs on spring training battles to watch by position, in each division. I’ll hopefully convey a common sense approach that assists with your draft prep and roster...
View ArticleOpening Day Excess Lives In Texas
Before you read this, I want you to go outside and look at the birds chirping. Smell the freshly-cut grass. Look up at the sun that your deity of choice made from a very large matchstick. Pat your kid...
View ArticleJeter Paying Price For Kicking All Those Girls Out Of Bed
Derek Jeter screams "Ankle!" Yanks scream "Uncle!" Well, you know you can't spell "My ankle" without Minka Kelly. She couldn't stop at just Jason Street, could she? Minka used to love his enlarged pro...
View ArticleBear or Bull: Throw Me A Hambone
Surprised that I showed up with a post today? I'm sure most of you thought I was still writing my 30-page thesis on R.A. Dickey. What can I say? It was more a labor of love than anything else. And that...
View ArticleBaseball Tonight Worries About A Lack Of Highlights
First off, Rudy is safe. We have him in a padded room with only marshmallows to eat. He's a bit overcome by the absence of color, but it will be a good distraction while Bryce Harper is touch and go....
View ArticleChris B. Davis Is The Center Square On The Sell High Bunch
Here’s Chris Davis‘s ceiling. And here’s where he’s playing right now: take your jigsaw, saw out a hole in your ceiling, put a ladder through the hole, climb to the roof, grab onto the tree branch to...
View ArticleCreeper Of The Week: Yes Sings Owner Of A Loney Start
Yes had a very odd and underrated music career. For years they were this prog rock band that never quite broke out. Sure, people knew of them. They had an abbreviated version of their single Roundabout...
View ArticleLess Cavalier Is Clay
Last week, Jack Morris said Clay Buchholz was cheating. Not surprising that something doesn't smell right with the fingers of a guy named Buchholz. Morris is probably mad because Clay's not pitching to...
View ArticleBaseballstar Profarlactica
Jurickson Profar called up to replace The Ian Kinsler DL Experiment. I'll wait here while you go add Profar in your league. Okay, back? Good! If you're not back yet, then you're not reading this, so...
View ArticleDetroit Rick City
They say baseball is a game of inches. When 'they' say that, 'they' are wearing a plaid jacket and flood pants. They also have adult acne. But if baseball really is a game of inches, the Tigers are...
View ArticleCreeper Of The Week: Great Scott!
First off, let me just say I am hanging my head in shame about my Danny Valencia call last week. Not only did he only see 3 at-bats up to Saturday morning, he was DFA'ed by Wednesday. Painful, and I'm...
View ArticleKempulsive Lamer
Matt Kemp is headed back to the DL. He needs Chris Brown to slap some health into him. Obviously, this a terrible sign for Kemp since it's his shoulder that he had surgery on that is bothering him....
View ArticleWhat If A-Rod Was One Of Us?
Alex Rodriguez may be a slob like one of us, but I’ve repeatedly told you to pick up Carlos Quentin this season, so I’ve already thrown my dignity out the proverbial window (defenestration, yo!)....
View ArticleOh, My Goodness Gracious Of All The Dramatic Things I’ve Seen!
Derek Jeter returned and went 1-for-4 with an RBI, run scored and left with a strained quad. I'm not even joking about the injury. The Yankees should just travel with an MRI machine. Didja know 100% of...
View ArticleI’d Istanbuy, That Man Stanton’s Hopeful
By now you've probably seen Giancarlo Stanton in ESPN's magazine completely naked. Coincidentally, I looked at the pictures completely naked. Did I say looked? I meant took with a telephoto lens. In...
View ArticleJam it or Cram it: Waiver Wire All-Stars and the Fantasy DT’s
Maybe you’re with me, maybe you’re against me on this one, but the MLB All-Star game is an idea that should be buried alongside B.J. Upton, New Coke, Bic Disposable Underwear, and the XFL. He hate me...
View ArticleYoenis Puts The U In Der…buy!
It's doubtful that Chicago will start singing, 'Baby, what a big surprise,' when Garza's traded. I don't imagine there will be that many that are left holding their Putz when the Diamondbacks trade for...
View ArticleCreeper Of The Week: Smoak’um If You Got’um
Thanks for the welcome back all from my All-Star Weekend excursion. I talked with Grey and he said 'why the heck didn't you write one?' to which I responded 'but please, sir, you promised me some time...
View ArticleMal-Gon, Take Me Away From Cuba
Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez, the latest Cuban raftee, is set to sign with the Dodgers. Hey, I'm no Quicken magician, but with the money the Dodgers spent on Yasiel Puig and Gonzalez, couldn't they just...
View ArticleIt’s The Time Of The Season For Loving 8th Inning Guys
You wrote a letter to your leaguemates, but before you sent it to them, you asked me to proofread it but not share it. Too bad, here it is, "Yo, what's up, snitches?! I have six closers and am sticking...
View ArticleForever Young
Rod Stewart knows how to pick venues. Masterful choice. Hey now, somebody likes someone, or so says Marc Topkin, who, by-the-way, sounds like a X-Wing pilot. He has reported that there is mutual...
View ArticleEt Tu Bruce, Jay?
I never know what to expect from Jay Bruce on a weekly basis. He’s been killing me softly the past month (or really, season), but it always feels like he might turn things around instantly. Is there a...
View Article